The Desire Map, a Guide to creating Goals with Soal
Core Desired Feelings
The Desire Map by Danielle Laporte takes you through a process to determine your core desired feelings. Those feelings that are at the core of why you do the things you do. You can find out more about her at DanielleLaporte.com
Limbering Up your Soul
She firsts runs you through some soul limbering exercises. If you can’t tell, Danielle is a little out there. She may be a little too out there for some, but she really does know how to tell you to give up all pretense and just get to the root of it.
Many of these exercises are similar to any time you are creating your goals. You think about the things you want, the things that you don’t want, and so on.
Clarifying your core desired feelings
Danielle guides you through the different areas of your life and gets you to really think about what it is that you want. Instead of “I want a three-bedroom house”, she gets you to realize that your core desire is to feel connected to the community.
You spend a lot of time thinking about words, and she tells you to look them up, search for the origins of words, and tries to get you to really find those words.
Boiling it down
She then gets you to come up with around five core desired feelings. And so mine are:
Calm-I don’t want to feel stressed, guilty, hurried, etc.
Connected-I want to be connected to those around me, and feel that I am part of something bigger
Complete-Not lacking, not with the deep need to do something else, be something else, that I will never be ok until I do
Free-Not feeling that there is something I need to be doing right now, free to have me time, time to do the things I like
Excited-About life the people in it, and the possibilities, not worried, not feeling like there is no good left in the world
In the end, she has you put those into actions. She has worksheets for the year, month and week. My goals for next year are to:
Overcome perfectionism-get over the constant feeling of guilt and the need to be better-decide that I really am good enough right where I am
2018 NKOTB Cruise-I am going and I am going to come up with the money without burning a whole in my credit card
Disney 2020-I am going to come up with an auto-save thing to set aside the money monthly so we can go to Disneyword in 2020. It is just one of those things that I feel strongly about doing!
Me time-I am an introvert, and I need some me time. So much that I feel anti-social, but it is who I am. I am going to find time to be by myself. Also find time for hobbies, girl time, etc.
Strengthen connections-I want to strengthen the connections that I have. I have some good people in my life, and I want to grow those connections-but without a sense of guilt and obligation.
Just do it
No magic pills here. Danielle Laporte just says that it is going back to those core desired feelings. Keep them always around you so that you can weigh the choices you make against them.